The Serious Relationship-er

Why is it that many a woman of the Serious Relationship ilk - those who only enter a relationship if they feel confident it will last as long and be as perilous as Odysseus' return to Ithaca - brandish their membership to the group like a Vietnam Vet talking about his six tours in Khe-San?

I sat near a couple today at lunch at the Landmark Deli and overheard a conversation about a friend's faltering relationship. The man made a few points concerning his perception of the relationship downfall. The woman brushed these opinions away; "No, no, no. Look, I've been in serious relationships since I was fifteen." She appeared, now, to be all of 23, which gives her as much experience running relationships as George Bush has had running the country.

For her men's sake, I hope her learning curve is not as steep.

I consulted two experts in my search for origins and understanding of this phenomenon; a woman, and Google.

I Googled "serious relationship women." The results offered me some insight. The first informed me that, "Hand in Hand will introduce you to beautiful Czech women, unspoiled by feminism. Your true life partner awaits." So feminism is to blame. Is that second or third-wave, specifically? The second result offered this sly riposte to my query, parrying my question with a question of its own: "Should you get into a serious relationship with a woman who participated in a ten man gang bang?"

From the woman I encountered stiff resistance. She told me, "Fuck off, I've been in serious relationships since I was fifteen!"

Are we so terrible that women look back on our times with us like a marine recalling Guadalcanal? Yes. But I'll shirk the psychology and take the easy route: I blame television. If it wasn't for shows like Party of Five and Saved by the Bell, no one would have the idea that a serious relationship by fifteen is something to strive for. Or maybe they would.

Perhaps the best tack for a friend mixed up with a Serious Relationship-er is G.O.B Bluth's:


1 comment:

muffine said...

i never say fuck off. well, maybe sometimes. ps you have to teach me how to put pictures in my blog.