10.4.08

Stay Juicy, College

I don't know if you know, but between you, me, and the internet; Edith Windcap is the easiest ass at Brown University. That's according to the savvy participants on the internet's latest college-aimed circle jerk, aka http://www.juicycampus.com/. We graduated too soon, friends.

If you haven't heard of it, Juicy Campus is, as the International Herald Tribune put it, a website "that cultivates and distributes gossip across a network of 59 college campuses." Those colleges include such venereal institutions as Harvard University, Princeton, Brown, Columbia, and Bob Jones. Juicy Campus is a one stop shop for information that, in our old pre-Iphone college days, would have been distributed through "text messaging." Talk about precious.

Now, whether you want to find out (through anonymous sources, of course) who at Colgate; has "the best tits," or, "gives best head," or, for those Ivy students, "what did the Brown grad say to the Cornell grad?" (answer: "hey bro, you want fries with that?") Juicy Campus is your one stop shop. A veritable virtual Mike Milken of insider college sex trading.

Take this from the line of replies trailing from the 2400-times viewed Brown University "easiest ass on campus" post: "Edith is a fucking high class girl, and none of you shits would ever hope to get with the likes of her cause she is just so out of your league. you can tell yourselves that shes easy, if thatll make you feel better about being the sad and pathetic people that you are, but you all know that you couldnt pay to get with her cause shed never give you the time of day."

Well, what's your guess? Ugly guy with a crush on the girl? Or the girl defending herself through the beauty of anonymous posting? That's half the fun! Who knows who said that thing about your girlfriend and the hockey team's innovative use of the penalty box, a puck, and the goalie's mitt? Bet it wasn't you or your girlfriend.

Juicy Campus has taken a lot of heat lately. There was the guy who some dudes identified in a gay porno and outted him to the rest of the school with a link to the video on Juicy Campus. Oh, and the guy who threatened, on Juicy Campus, to bring in an AR-15 and kill a bunch of fellow students for some reason or other.

But I'm standing up for Juicy Campus. Where else can I go for an informed discussion on whether or not Andrew McGwire, of University of Miami, is in fact "cursed by mummies":

"yeah - I saw Andrew at the Rat, and these girls were totally macking on him, but they kept getting dragged into the lake by the mummies."

Juicy.

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