Ain't Nobody Dope As Me

What happened to you, Barack Obama? I had such high expectations, I thought you'd given me a promise of change, and hope.

Hope that I would never have to tie another goddamn Windsor Knot again.

Nicholas Antogiavanni, in a recent Wall Street Journal article, stated that, "Barack Obama -- unquestionably the hippest candidate for the presidency since John F. Kennedy -- may do to the tie what Kennedy helped do to the hat."

At the beginning of his presidential run, the tie hardly made an appearance around Obama's neck. Look at the cover of The Audacity of Hope - no tie. Out campaigning in Iowa, nary a tie. But as soon as the primary wins started rolling in, every victory speech was neatly circled with - admittedly dapper - neckties.
In August of '07, I went to a snooty Princeton, New Jersey fundraiser for Barack Obama to be attended by, among many others, Newark mayor Cory Booker, former Secretary of the Treasury, Michael Blumenthal, and, of course, The Man Himself. "Excellent!" I thought, "I'll have an immediate in with Obama. I'll eschew my Cam'ron-Pink DKNY, and we'll bond the moment he sees me, tie-less, around all the other tied-up blue-bloods!" But he arrived and there it was; a powder blue Gucci. Even Booker had one on!

What happened? Did the images of Ahmadinejad, collar open, at the UN give Axelrod and Co. the jitters? No flag pin, fine. But no tie? When we're about to nuke the dudes who shun the tie as a symbol of western cultural oppression? No go, Barack, lace 'em up.

It's really a shame. I was pretty excited about the idea of Obama not only changing the direction of American politics and policy but also getting us on-board his Chi-town style train. As long as it didn't include those damn Kanye "Stronger" shades...

Presidential fashion moves at a tectonic pace, true, but it's been 50 years since Kennedy did away with the hat - the man had no choice, it would have been sin to cover up that coiffe - I think we're ready for the next step. So I'm calling you out, Barack, inauguration day, let's get the shit to pop: No Tie Do Or Die.

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