A Reasonable Succession of If/Then Statements

I heard Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" played for the 96,347th time in the past month at the New York Sports Club the other day. Apparently this pastor from Ohio is as fed up with it as I am. He says you should stick to kissing boys and liking it, I suppose, or else you go to hell. Abide the church of Blacklick, Ohio, Americans.

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